You know how it goes: you get banned from a platform, even though you’re not aware of doing anything seriously wrong. Maybe you were a bit sarcastic, maybe you made a comment that was a bit too sharp — but nothing that, in any reasonable world, would justify a permanent ban. And who do you call in cases like that? That’s right: support. The last hope. The knights of common sense.
Well. Not at EA.
What follows is a Kafkaesque back-and-forth with a customer support team that’s not just ignoring you, but seems to be living on a completely different continent of logic. While you’re typing your fingers to the bone, the responses you get have absolutely nothing to do with what you asked. You say, “This is about my Steam account.” — and EA replies, “Please provide your EA ID.” You send a screenshot clearly proving it’s not your fault — EA replies, “Please contact Steam.” …even though the screenshot literally says: “Steam refers to EA.”
At that point, you’ve got to ask: is this still support — or a scripted mini-game where you lose the second you try to use logic?
And then comes the best part: when they tell you that you’ve misunderstood an automated message — even though the bit you quoted clearly says the exact opposite of what the EA staff member is trying to claim. It’s like someone looking you in the eye and saying: “The sky is green. Please contact the weather bureau if you have further questions.”
You don’t just feel like you’re being messed with — you know you are.
And it’s not like you’re asking for something massive. No refund. No gift bundle. Just the reversal of an unfair ban handed out by an overzealous forum mod — maybe because he’d run out of coffee, or your tone didn’t suit his personal worldview. EA could take the time to review and fix the mistake.
But instead of fairness, you get template responses.
Instead of insight: copy and paste.
Instead of help: escalation into thin air.
And that’s the problem: a company that’s pulling in billions still can’t manage to lift their customer service to a level that even remotely fits the year 2025. Communication isn’t a one-way street — but EA’s chosen to rip off the rear-view mirror and go full speed backwards with their eyes shut.
Bottom line:
EA support is like liquorice:
Black, chewy, and no one’s swallowing it willingly.
“Your incompetence is not merely frustrating — it is artless, pedestrian. Even chaos has form. You, however, are beneath disorder.”
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